Do vagina's smell?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
