What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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