Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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