Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
