Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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