I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Houston, we have a squirter
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
