i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Of course I have a pirate flag
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
