so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
