I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
