So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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