i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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