So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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