Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
