And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
