margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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