So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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