if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
