My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
