she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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