I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
