You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
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