No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
