garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
