My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
