I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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