It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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