I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
