walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize