I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
