True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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