The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
