Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
im holly from the hills drunk
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
