I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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