Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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