Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
