garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
