things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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