I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
