I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize