Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
