Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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