my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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