I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
