sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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