Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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