Where is the hickey?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
