Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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