We're facebook friends in real life
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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