I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
