hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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