Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
