Umm I'm too high to move.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
