my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
