There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
