Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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