the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize