dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
