butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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