i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
