...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
