We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
