Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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