matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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