We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
