So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
