I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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