I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
