And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
