No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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