No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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