You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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