I puked a lego.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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