is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
