Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
