so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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