so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
