'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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