I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
please come you make the beer taste better
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize